Write For Us

We’re always looking for jaded voices to join our team. Sadly. as this is a purely cynical exercise created with the sole intention of making as much money as possible, we will regrettably pay you for your efforts.

Likes: Eastern European film, obscure movies with famous faces, A-list actors in B-list action movies, festival efforts, female filmmakers, sexy people, 35mm, humanist cinema, low-key vibes, good films, polemics.

Dislikes: Overyhyped British cinema, prestige horror, TV, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Twitter discourse, cheap American politics.


Pitches currently closed.

Please make sure that any films being pitched for review coverage are a) new/relatively new, b) retrospective, c) relevant.

Current flat rate: 7 cents (Euros) a word, with pieces ideally between 500 (single review) and 1200 words (wide ranging piece).

Currency: Euros, pounds or dollars.

Language: British English. Sorry y’all. Also, short sentences, avoidance of words like “pretentious” or “beautiful cinematography” and any nonsense like “woke”.

Payment method: Bank transfer, Paypal, cash, we’ll figure it out.

Email: [email protected]

Pitch Guidelines: Send a little bio, previous festival coverage (if any), and what you’d be interested in tackling.

Note: Budget is relatively low, so will probably only commission 3-4 articles a month.