Write For Us

We’re always looking for jaded voices to join our team. Sadly. as this is a purely cynical exercise created with the sole intention of making as much money as possible, we will regrettably pay you for your efforts.

Likes: Eastern European films, obscure movies with famous faces, A-list actors in B-list action movies, festival efforts, female filmmakers, sexy people, 35mm, humanist cinema, low-key vibes, good films, polemics.

Dislikes: Overhyped British cinema, prestige horror, TV, Netflix Originals, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Twitter discourse, cheap American politics.


Pitches are open from November 1st. 

Please make sure that any films being pitched for review coverage are a) new/relatively new, b) retrospective, c) relevant.

Current flat rate: 7 cents (Euros) a word, with pieces ideally between 500 (single review) and 1200 words (wide-ranging piece).

Currency: Euros, pounds or dollars.

Language: British English. Sorry, y’all.

Payment method: Bank transfer, Paypal, cash, we’ll figure it out.

Email: [email protected]

Pitch Guidelines: Send a little bio, previous festival coverage (if any), and what you’d like to tackle.

Note: The budget is relatively low, so will probably only commission 3-4 articles a month.